Too often I do not live like the daughter of the King of Kings that I am and a sneaking suspicion tells me that I’m not alone.
Slipping back into the eastern time zone a few weeks ago my mind immediately kicked into high gear. This is what it said:
“Oh my gosh I need a job. I haven’t had to job search in 5 years. This is not the economy for finding a job. But I must have one. I have bills. I have a visa to get. I have to buy winter clothes. I need food… and gas… and… and… and…”
Now I have my freak out moments on the field but they do not compare to the ones I have when I come home. Maybe it is because I am closing quickly on the third decade of my life and do not enjoy being dependent on any one. Maybe it is the whole status issue (just ask me how I felt pulling out a TracFone in Newark instead of an iPhone, especially if I try to tell you I don’t care about having cool things).
How quickly I forget:
God’s provision to not only get me home but to provide a way of return to Ukraine
God’s provision around the world last year when our budget just wouldn’t stretch any further
God’s provision of housing, community, food, and every other need every single day
Earlier this week I bought a loofah for a friend. It was part of a joke from an internship three years ago and I knew handing her that puffy colored mesh on a string would immediately bring a smile and laugh. Expectations met she then informed me that just that day while in the shower she noticed her loofah falling apart and reminded herself to make note on her shopping list.
What does a loofah have to do with anything? Well I believe less and less in coincidences these days. Together my friend and I celebrated that God cares about our EVERY need… even down to loofahs!
So why do we live like orphans instead of sons and daughters, grabbing and hording, trembling and fearing when God is The Good Father who knows how to take care of His kids?
It doesn’t mean that we sit around and do nothing, but that we walk in obedience to what He has said and trust that He is in control.
That’s the reminder to myself as I fill out all these applications and wait: I am a daughter not an orphan. God knows and God cares, but maybe He is more concerned I learn my identity than feel safe because of what is in my bank account.