a moment of transparency

I need to be needed. I need a purpose.

This is one of my more recent conclusions. I have, however, not yet determined if this is detrimental, purely selfish, okay or possibly even positive.

I hate this in between time. I am tired of being transitory.

In Ukraine I’m needed. In Ukraine I have purpose. Here  I feel useless, out of place and constantly calculating my deficits.

It feels like I am always behind, waiting for a miracle to materialize, and forever unsure of what to do or say.

I know it is just a season. I know God has everything in control. I “know” a lot but somehow that hasn’t stopped me from melting into a puddle of tears on an almost daily basis.

“Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.”
Psalm 42:11

 

 

 

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